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Archive for the ‘STREET BEAT’ Category

weird sketchiness. Driving home last night, saw a guy messing with a bike lock in front of Fresh Pot on Mississippi. I slowly drove by, couldn’t tell if he was unlocking or locking or trying to steal it. It was a cable lock, and he was putting something into the key hole it looked like. I slowed down and pulled over at the corner awkwardly and put my hazards on. A group of people started walking by and I pretended I was trying to get someone’s attention and honked my horn a few times, not looking in the bike’s direction. Then I waited. Turned around. I saw that the guy was not by the bike, but on the sidewalk, just checking out the scene. I stood there and then pulled over catty corner (so now across from animal traffic). I called the police, and said I knew it was kind of pointless, but it sort of looked like this guy was trying to steal a bike and he was still here. I could see him a block away, standing there. Maybe sort of wondering what I was up to. I described him as best I could to police and they said they’d send a car by. So I stayed there, with my hazards on. Watching this guy standing there. he walked down the block, further down shaver, but still he stood there. After another few minutes passed. I looked away. Then when I looked back I think I saw him get into a silver hatchback car. This was shocking. Why was he messing with a bike lock and then getting into a car? They drove off. I actually stupidly tried following them, because I had nothing better to do. But I’d lost them. I went back to the bike. I wanted to take a closer look at the lock, but was afraid the police would pull up and arrest me. Although I had a good alibi. I had given the dispatcher my name and number. So if they did try to arrest me, I could just tell them to call my number. Which actually, makes me think it would be the perfect crime. I didn’t look at the bike lock that closely and then I drove home.

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Brother Jeff’s Corpse Story

“I’d been smelling this stench on my hall for about 3 weeks, even complained to maintenance over a week ago, saying that I even thought it might be someone who died, I got the semi-racist response “it’s probably just a Chinese person cooking a cabbage, that always smells bad.” Finally yesterday the old Ukranian lady who lives across the hall from me knocked on my door to ask me if I agreed with her that there was a terrible smell in the hall, she had complained to maintenance and they blew her off as an annoying old lady. So she and I went to the maintenance office together, and convinced them to come check out the smell – they came, blowing us off all the while, insisting that it was “not a rotting smell,” one maintenance guy saying he smelled nothing, and the other guy saying it was “definitely from someone’s dirty apartment.” When they left, having done nothing, the nice asian dad who lives down the hall came out of his apartment and said he couldn’t take it anymore, even his 3-year old boy had been complaining lately, and come to think of it, he hasn’t seen his neighbor in a while. The neighbor in question was a portly man in his 60s, lived alone. Rent bill still on his door. We decided we should call 911, so I called and told them there was a stink on my hallway, we feared someone might be dead. So the cops came, very funny cops. They arrived on the hallway a little later and immediately said “oh yeah. It doesn’t look good for this guy.” They saw the rent bill on his door and said “it’s always the same.” (picture all of this being said in the most stereotypical NYC cop accents). They called in a third cop, who talked exactly the same way. When he arrived I escorted him from the elevator asking him if he smelled what we were talking about – he said “Naw, I don’t smell nothin’. I wuz down at September 11.” I thought he meant that he smelled so many stinking corpses at the twin towers that nothing bothered him anymore but he continued: “I developed a cancerous growth in my nose – they hadda take it out, and now I can’t smell nothin.” So this is like a superhero cop with no sense of smell, who gained his powers from chemical exposure at the Twin Towers, and they bring him on for particularly smelly jobs!! Amazing! I went back to my apartment, not wanting to be standing around when they broke down the door and hauled out this 3 or 4 week rotting corpse of a fat guy – but there was no question – when I was in my apartment, about ten minutes later, this horrible smell suddenly permeated my place, even from way down at the opposite end of the hall, it must have been when they opened the door. I opened all the windows and turned the fan on high and started burning incense. Finally, about 6 hours later, I got the courage to leave my apartment and go outside to get away from my building for a while. Down on the street was the “meat wagon” and a couple of medics with a stretcher trying to gain access to my building – I let them in – I couldn’t believe it had taken so long for them to arrive. I was sure the burst of stink from 6 hours earlier was from the body being removed, but apparently it was just from when they opened the apartment door. I watched them get into the elevator with the stretcher and I took off, not wanting to be in the lobby when the elevator came back down!

On the good side, at least somebody on the co-op apartment waiting list is going to get a nice letter soon.

And remember – that’s the only way ANYbody ever moves out of the co-ops!”

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saturday, 13 december

theater infringement.

Last night I attended what may have been my first theater in Portland. The Old Man, the Goat and the Son of a Bitch. (myspace.com/theoldmanplay). The play started strong, but I was less than enthralled with the rest of it. The set was pretty cool and some of the acting great. ( Special mention goes to the actor who played Eddy, and the actress who played “room service”). I’m far from a seasoned theater-goer, but the show was like other theater I’ve seen, a bit under-whelming. But the writer/director Charles Augustus Sheen III introduced the play and he was quite the character. I googled him when I got home and was not surprised to discover this story. http://www.scari.org/seuss.html
After some re-earch it seems he may have written a children’s story that was then stolen by the Dr. Seuss Corporation. He then sued the corp, but represented himself. He failed to hit certain deadlines and the case was thrown out. Then he sent some e-mails to Dr Seuss’ widow asking for money (and possibly threatening to release this x-rated Seuss image) Audrey-pulling-train and was charged with extortion. after spending 10-20 grand on a lawyer he plea-bargained and was sentenced to 3 years probation He wrote a play about it. The play I saw was not that play.

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drawn in the woods

zodiac-wine

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thursday, 4 december

the art of interviewing.

I’m searching for the date and time of the Langhorn Slim show on Friday and run into this on Localcut.com.
http://localcut.wweek.com/2008/12/03/attend-free-vice-tv-taping-at-bagdad-theater-interviews-with-pierced-arrows-stephen-malkmus/
>>>>>>
Not sure how we missed this one, but Vice’s web TV show Soft Focus will be filming here in PDX this Thursday (Dec. 4) at the Bagdad Theater (3702 SE Hawthorne).
The show will feature legendary Nation of Ulysses/the Make-up front-dood Ian Svenonius interviewing similarly legendary hometown heroes Fred and Toody Cole (Pierced Arrows/ex-Dead Moon) and Stephen Malkmus. That’s a whole lotta rock celebrity packed into the Hawthorne St. brew-pub, and, straight after the 7-10pm taping, Mr. Svenonius himself will be spinning records ‘til late at the afterparty at nearby Aalto Lounge (3356 SE Belmont).
And if you’re curious what the show is all about, here’s a clip of everyone’s favorite sober sailor, Minor Threat/Fugazi/the Evens frontman, er, legend, Ian Mackaye struggling to break through Svenonius’ overwhelming self-satisfaction in a previous episode of Soft Focus:
>>>>
Jeez Louise, I’m there.
856951053_14f780e142
pierced arrows sketch

Ian’s interview skills need work. Or he needs coffee. Or more notes. Or he needs to be a little more informed on the artists. I know Vice probably likes the wacky, non-traditional interview style, but if you want to go that route go all the way and get Harmony Korine to be the host.

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tuesday, 2 december

where comics and literature (sort of) finally meet.

Tonight there are two events I want to attend.

Drawing and weird movies at Floating World Comics, one of the best shops around. And Philip Gourevitch, the new editor of the Paris Review talking about the new collection of Paris review Interviews (http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/interviewing-the-interviewer/Content?oid=951999).

091905_article_kolhatkar

The drawing is 7-9. The talk is nearby at Powells at 7:30.

I’m going to try to squeeze both in.

As I try to leave the house is when I start to fear my sketch book is missing. AAAAA.

(it’s getting better -ed)

I arrive early at Floating World. I do a little bit of work on a comic about a trip we took at the end of summer to the APE Caves.

I buy these two comics: MJUN084110 aylettCatererCoverweb

And at 8 I leave for Powells.

I catch the end of the talk with Philip Gourevitch. I didn’t realize he also co-wrote the book Standard Operating Procedural with Erroll Morris.

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monday, 1 december (cont.)

lectures, MFAs, hamza, and fanboys.

Monday night I went to the Monday night PSU art talk/lecure. The guest was Hamza Walker.

hamza_for_web

The talk wasn’t super informative, though Hamza was entertaining. He was really excited about art and music, but he talked as if the audience knew everything already. Sometimes I do this when talking to people on stage He seemed super knowledgeable, but he never went deeper into the artwork. He played some Chicago experimental music that I thought was awful. He showed slides from a show he called Watery Domestic and then explained “I mean come on, and now I’m here in the land of Malkmus.” He went on to describe a brief encounter with the Malk in Chicago

(every loves a good Malk story).

Surrounded by PSU’s MFA kids at the lecture I thought again about the politics and positives and negatives of trying to get an MFA.

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